To begin with, I should say that thanks to online dating site 5 years ago I found my boy-friend, who now became my husband, I guess it would be very difficult for us to find each other without internet help, as I am Ukrainian and he is Italian... So we consider us very lucky:)
Anyway, this is already the end of my online dating experience, I would even say the happy end:) and everything began 9 years ago, when I began to work in international marriage agency as interpreter...
It was a good job for me then, as I was still a student, and I needed a practice in English language (the clients of the agency were mostly Americans), but also I could work after my university lessons had finished. My job duties were to translate clients' letters English-Russian-English, and to interpret when a foreigner comes and meets women. It was kind of easy, and interesting, as I had to interpret for many couples, to see many times the same man to meet different women or the same woman to meet different men (until they find the right one for them), and to watch their behavior... I guess I learned a lot about psychology of men and women during this work experience, I saw how the same man behaved in a very different way with different women, it was interesting to observe why men liked some women, and why did not like other women, to understand what men were attracted by in a woman and what instead repelled them... Translating the letters was also very fascinating, but very soon I understood that the majority of times there was no need in translation, many women didn't want to write letters, they asked the agency to write the letters instead of them and after I understood why... It happens very rarely that a man who likes to write for a long period of time comes for a real meeting. There were couples who wrote each other for three years and more, and after men disappeared without saying anything, or men who promised in each letter to come the next month (finding all kind of reasons for not coming this month) and in this way a year or two passed writing each other several times a week, but never resulting in a real meeting. So many women asked agency to write letters on behalf of their name and to convince the men to come to meet her and only then if they like each other they will continue to write, but already 'real' letters. So, the rule number 1 is to not write/chat for a long time, but to give the other side to understand that you want to meet in real life, and not to have just virtual relationship. Of course it is good to know something about the person before to meet him/her, so there is nothing bad to chat for a short period, but not for a month or a year, believe me, in one meeting you can learn more about a person than in a month or more of writing. When I registered to online dating site of my city, I understood that this rule works not only for international sites, but also for local ones, as there are many people who want just to chat online forever, but never meet... Then when finally two people meet, the other problem can appear, when you understand very quickly that you don't like the other person, and you absolutely don't want to spend an hour or two with him/her, but usually when you agree to meet, you agree for a dinner... So, the rule number 2 is to meet always only for a coffee/tea on the first meeting, and after, if you like the person, you can prolong your first date for as much as you want... I myself had such situation, when you don't want not only to spend the dinner with a person, but to turn and run away immediately:) and I observed this kind of situations many times while I was translating for a couple, when one of them could even ask me to help to find the reason to go away ASAP... I guess I shouldn't even mention here that the first meeting should be always in public place, for your own safety, even if you previously wrote to each other for years, or even spoke in skype with video camera, just be reasonable!!!... The rule number 3 is to not give up quickly, many of my friends who have registered to online dating sites have soon given up the possibility to find a partner in this way, for two reasons, the first - after some not successful meetings (if you have ever tried online dating, you know how many absolutely crazy and strange people there are out there) they stop to believe that there are normal people in such sites, the second - when you register on this kind of site, you usually result on the top of the search for some time, and a lot of people begin to write you immediately, so the first mistake will be to answer everybody without exception, even to answer the people you don't like, writing them that you are not interested, or that you are busy and so on (some people will continue to send unpleasant messages to you forever until they see that you answer them, even when your answers stop to be polite, so it is better to ignore such messages, and not to waste your time and nerves on this)... of course it will take then a lot of your time, and if you like a person before even meeting him/her and you spend hours and hours each day to write each other, to speak in skype, but when many of these virtual meetings almost never result in real meeting, the person feels disappointed after all the time and efforts spent and gives up the possibility to find a partner in internet, that's why the rules number 1 and 2 are important, they will save your time and efforts. And when you finally meet a person you like and who likes you after the first meeting, you begin to date in real life, but it is already a beginning of a different story:)
It was a good job for me then, as I was still a student, and I needed a practice in English language (the clients of the agency were mostly Americans), but also I could work after my university lessons had finished. My job duties were to translate clients' letters English-Russian-English, and to interpret when a foreigner comes and meets women. It was kind of easy, and interesting, as I had to interpret for many couples, to see many times the same man to meet different women or the same woman to meet different men (until they find the right one for them), and to watch their behavior... I guess I learned a lot about psychology of men and women during this work experience, I saw how the same man behaved in a very different way with different women, it was interesting to observe why men liked some women, and why did not like other women, to understand what men were attracted by in a woman and what instead repelled them... Translating the letters was also very fascinating, but very soon I understood that the majority of times there was no need in translation, many women didn't want to write letters, they asked the agency to write the letters instead of them and after I understood why... It happens very rarely that a man who likes to write for a long period of time comes for a real meeting. There were couples who wrote each other for three years and more, and after men disappeared without saying anything, or men who promised in each letter to come the next month (finding all kind of reasons for not coming this month) and in this way a year or two passed writing each other several times a week, but never resulting in a real meeting. So many women asked agency to write letters on behalf of their name and to convince the men to come to meet her and only then if they like each other they will continue to write, but already 'real' letters. So, the rule number 1 is to not write/chat for a long time, but to give the other side to understand that you want to meet in real life, and not to have just virtual relationship. Of course it is good to know something about the person before to meet him/her, so there is nothing bad to chat for a short period, but not for a month or a year, believe me, in one meeting you can learn more about a person than in a month or more of writing. When I registered to online dating site of my city, I understood that this rule works not only for international sites, but also for local ones, as there are many people who want just to chat online forever, but never meet... Then when finally two people meet, the other problem can appear, when you understand very quickly that you don't like the other person, and you absolutely don't want to spend an hour or two with him/her, but usually when you agree to meet, you agree for a dinner... So, the rule number 2 is to meet always only for a coffee/tea on the first meeting, and after, if you like the person, you can prolong your first date for as much as you want... I myself had such situation, when you don't want not only to spend the dinner with a person, but to turn and run away immediately:) and I observed this kind of situations many times while I was translating for a couple, when one of them could even ask me to help to find the reason to go away ASAP... I guess I shouldn't even mention here that the first meeting should be always in public place, for your own safety, even if you previously wrote to each other for years, or even spoke in skype with video camera, just be reasonable!!!... The rule number 3 is to not give up quickly, many of my friends who have registered to online dating sites have soon given up the possibility to find a partner in this way, for two reasons, the first - after some not successful meetings (if you have ever tried online dating, you know how many absolutely crazy and strange people there are out there) they stop to believe that there are normal people in such sites, the second - when you register on this kind of site, you usually result on the top of the search for some time, and a lot of people begin to write you immediately, so the first mistake will be to answer everybody without exception, even to answer the people you don't like, writing them that you are not interested, or that you are busy and so on (some people will continue to send unpleasant messages to you forever until they see that you answer them, even when your answers stop to be polite, so it is better to ignore such messages, and not to waste your time and nerves on this)... of course it will take then a lot of your time, and if you like a person before even meeting him/her and you spend hours and hours each day to write each other, to speak in skype, but when many of these virtual meetings almost never result in real meeting, the person feels disappointed after all the time and efforts spent and gives up the possibility to find a partner in internet, that's why the rules number 1 and 2 are important, they will save your time and efforts. And when you finally meet a person you like and who likes you after the first meeting, you begin to date in real life, but it is already a beginning of a different story:)
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